"Oh! You're not a person. ... sad."

Despite the melodramatic subject, I will try to be more upbeat in this post. Everyone was depressed by my last one.

But, yes - I am not a person. In fact, I really don't exist.

No, I haven't been reading "The Stranger" and other French Existentialist writing while I a muse the evenings away in Hong Kong. Nor have I sold myself into some type of slavery - although knowing some of my readers, that might be something that would perk their ears.

No, in the end, I just don't have business cards.

As I have become a quasi-adult, I find myself in more and more awkward situations where I don't have a business card or 37 to give to sources or random people I meet. In the U.S. - you're just looked at as clumsy by forgetting your business card in a professional environment.

And, usually in the Western World, as I have gotten to know, you exchange business cards after you meet someone and have already conducted business. It's a symbol of "thank you, please remember me, I appreciated our time together." Like you're dating them or something.

In Asia... completely different. Let's go patented Ken Dialogue:

Asian Businessperson: "Hello, thank you for meeting with me. I am Qu Ting."
Ken: "Hello, I'm Ken Sweet with (fill in somewhat important professional aspect here."

Asian businessperson proceeds to pull out silver or gold business card holder, removes a business card. Holding it by the edges, businessperson bows just slightly, holding business card with appropriate language of conversation upwards for recieval. It is held out like an offering.

Now, at this point, I am supposed to take the business card and then provide the same ceremony to the same person, and then business would commence.

What really happens is:

Ken: "Um, I don't have businesscards. Here is my contact infor..."
Businessperson: (in an abrupt tone) "Why don't you have a business card?"
Cue awkward moment.

Business cards are the life blood of people around here. It establishes your place in society. And you give business cards before anyone commences business. And you always bring more than you possibly could need. Today, I had to go the Ritz Carlton hotel to meet with some fund managers. My editor, knowing that I would probably be crucified like Jesus for not having any, gave me seven business cards. I know because I dropped them on the way out of the building (fouling my business cards on the granite floor).

I ran out of them halfway through, and by the time I got to the important person I needed to give a businesscard to, I was out.

Cue Awkward Moment

Please Mind the Gap - and bring business cards.

Ken