Colonialism is Pretty

Let's say you run a civilization. At some point during your history, you decide you need more space, and figure that well, China's the way to go. So, when you arrive in the Pearl River Delta, what do you do? Do you:

• A - Build a trading post, adapting to the 3,000-year-old Chinese Culture in the area.
  
• B - Build a trading post, deciding that any local culture somehow falls beneath your great civilization. Local culture? Ha!
  
• C - Build a trading post, get bored, build a casino or 20.
  
• D - A mixture of B and C, with just enough Catholicism to keep from going to Hell.
  

I love Macau.

I took a day trip to Macau today. Macau, the strange colonial bedfellow of China, was founded by the Portuguese 500 years ago (Woah). After holding onto this tiny tiny tiny island (two kilometers by one kilometer), for centuries, the Portuguese gave it back to China in 1999. However, they left a very interesting impression on this little island.

First off, it's the only place in China you can gamble. I never equated the Portuguese with gambling, but I never equated the Portuguese with much in the first place so I obviously needed a place to start. They are kinda the strange cousin of Europe who lives by the beach all the time. I know my European friends will enjoy that. We love stereotypes.

Macau is actually really cool though. Hong Kong and Macau both were founded around the same time, but Hong Kong took a "historical building? Fuck that - let's put a car park here" attitude. So, in Macau, you have cobblestone streets, European architecture, and more churches than you can shake a Bishop's staff at.

The architecture was pretty awesome. The streets were all cobblestone, with beautiful frescoes, cute little shops. You'd think you were in some quaint Portuguese or Mediterranean town in Europe -- that somehow was having the largest Chinese tour group in history coming through.

I was also thoroughly entertained by the money in Macau. Macau uses it's own currency - the Pataca. Other than winning the "Hard Consonant Word of the Day," it's probably the least used currency on the face of the planet. It's pegged to the Hong Kong Dollar (which in turn is pegged to the U.S. Dollar). And, funny thing, the currency is in the minority on the island. According to their Monetary Authority, Patacas make up only 22.3 percent of all Macauese currency in circulation. The More You Know. I took some home with me, cuz I like useless money.

Pictures anyone?

Okay, so, yea... Macau likes the Church. A lot of very large, massive, ''power of Christ'' churches. The one that's pretty popular is St. Paul's Cathedral ruins. This was built like 400 years ago and then God got angry some time in the 1800s and decided to burn the entire thing down.

All that's left is the facade in the front. However, it's a pretty massive facade. You can see the whole city, and its casinos, from the facade's second floor.

Cultural Imperialism time though. Since I got to Hong Kong, I have been warned not to take photos of any inner sanctums of the temples here. St. Paul's has a crypt, a fairly nice one, filled with bones and stuff. Obviously God didn't like the architecture, but had a thing for the skeletons.

Anyways, there are signs everywhere saying that say ''this is a sacred place, please respect it.'' Really didn't see it from the Chinese there. It was kinda sad. They were touching things, and taking goofy pictures. I was a little flustered.

Okay more pictures of churches, ready set go:





Sorry, I had to do it. The Power of Christ compelled me to take this picture. I feel my soul rotting.

Okay, enough of good ol' fashion religion. Let's see sin! It's what everyone comes to Macau for anyways:



Woo! Casinos! Steve Wynn just opened a casino last month in Macau. It's the big super-hot place to be right now. It looks deathly familiar... to Las Vegas.









Speaking of Vegas. I wanted to share this picture. This looks like the other Macau streets I have taken pictures of, yes? Wrong! This is a new Casino. In good old Las Vegas style, they built a whole cultural center to emulate old Macau. Except, well, old Macau is like one kilometer from here.

I didn't get it. I think they should have done Paris. That would have at least been in the spirit of Vegas.


The food was actually really good in Macau. It's a mixture of Portuguese and Chinese food. Take that Californian infusion cuisine! The Portuguese got to this idea before you! I did spoil myself though. I ordered a wonderful rack of lamb and a great bottle of wine, and sat on a cobble stone street reading a book. It was heaven in some Portuguese Chinese Gambling Catholic weird sort of way.

Please Mind the Gap - and the Sin.

Ken

PS: Find me 40 bottles of this wine, and I will love you forever. I couldn't find it for the life of me.

And you thought U.S. Flying Sucks

Ken: "Hello nice travel agent. I would like to book two flights from Kathmandu, Nepal to Dehli, India."
Agent: "Certainly Rich American. We have three flight options for you."
Ken: "How splendid. Please give me those options."
Agent: "Well, we have Airline A, B and C. Airline A we aren't sure exists anymore."
Ken: "Oh... well, why are you trying to sell me this?"
Agent: "It's the cheapest."
Ken: "I can imagine. Next option, please."
Agent: "Certainly rich American. We have Airline B. Airline B doesn't fly to Dehli right now, but will next month."
Ken:"Oh, so it's expanding? Excellent, I'll take those tickets."
Agent: "Oh, you misunderstood me Rich American. I said they don't fly to Dehli right now, I didn't say they were expanding."
Ken: "So, why don't they fly to Dehli right now."
Agent: "Poor safety record. I think they forgot to hire mechanics or something. Big Nepalese Scandal."
Ken: "Next airline please."
Agent: "Certainly rich American. You can fly Airline C. Airline C is expensive."
Ken: "Well, okay."
Agent: "Very Expensive."
Ken: "Aren't I the rich American?"
Agent: "Certainly you are sir. But you can't afford this ticket. Plus, they require you get pick up the ticket in Kathmandu. I think you have to be Nepali to fly them. Are you Nepali, Mr. Sweet?"
Ken: "I'm not in Kathmandu. I was hoping for an e-ticket. No, I'm American, remember?"
Agent: "Oh, yes.... hmm. Well, Airline C is a good option. Can you wire me your deposit and we'll see if the flight is open for non-Nepalese?"
Ken: "I'm going to take a bus."
Agent: "Call back next week. Some other airlines might start up between now and then."

Sadly, this conversation is pretty much verbatum.

Please Mind the Gap - and get me out of Nepal.
~Ken

Who knew I would be happy to have a long layover?

On January 5th, I fly from Dehli to Singapore. I get there in the morning (430 a.m. to be precise). I then leave Singapore for Hong Kong at 7 p.m. and get into Hong Kong at 1045 p.m. on the 6th.

So, I get to spend the whole day wandering around in Singapore. Woo, another stamp!

Usually I hate long layovers... but I get to wander Singapore now! I'll make sure to leave my cocaine, pornography, cigarettes and malaysian newspapers at home then.

Ken