It was like God smiled, then struck me with a lightning bolt.

Hong Kong decided, I think collectively, to put everything on sale.

Like, everything. Seriously, you need a list?!

Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Paul Smith, Valentino, Ralph Lauren, Prada, Tod's, Dior, YSL, Columbia Sports Company, Nike, Cole Haan, Lacoste, Givenchy, Juicy Couture....

It goes on. The English department store Harvey Nichols, considered one of the most exclusive stores in fashiondom, is having a 40 percent off sale.

Why do they have to be so cruel? The only store not being cruel is Chanel, who thankfully, never puts anything on sale. If you didn't know Chanel burns everything they don't sell. That makes my day.

Ken

Today Covet Item. Take a wild f'kin' guess.

Tourism meets Buddhism

Picture a Buddhist monestary. What words come to your mind? Serene? Calm? Beautiful? Those are usually the words I put with East Asian temples, from what I have seen since I came to China.

My serene thoughts of a Buddhist monestary were shattered on Sunday, after a few friends and I decided to visit the Tian Tan Buddha on Lantau Island. It's the largest sitting Buddha in the world.

I should have been forewarned about going. First off, I thought such an object would be nice and calm to go see. I ignored the signs right infront of me:

1) Tian Tan Buddha was built in 1990
2) A major Hong Kong transportation company just opened a Cable Car, the Ngong Ping 360, to get to it.

I should have known better. Instead I got this:

AGH! I hate lines!!! The bottom photo was the back of the first of five line segments we had to wait in to get on the cable car. Once we were on, though (1 1/2 hours later), the ride was somewhat pleasant.

Sorry for the glare. We were told that this monestary was way out of the way, and the Ngong Ping 360 was the only way to really get out to see it in time. However, my friends and I noticed a very nicely sculpted path right under the Cable Car.

So, we all felt bad because instead of walking on the nice wooden path through a beautifully green mountainous path, we put ourselves in our sterile little cable car box and rose past it. It was sad. The superficiality of this trip could only get worse....

Now... I support Starbucks. They make great coffee. However, this Starbucks was located in a fake village Ngong Ping 360 built next to Buddha. I quote the brochure:

"Ngong Ping Village occupies 1.5 hectacres adjecent to the Tian Tan Buddha Statue in Lantau, and has been designed to reflect and maintain the cultural and spiritual integrity of the Ngong Ping Area."

I would like to note this Starbucks was next to a giftshop, a French restaurant, and a Chopstick store. Oh! They had a mascot too.

Sorry for the stupid picture, the attendent doesn't know how to use my camera. ... sad. But... you get the picture. There are no monkeys on Lantau island (with the exception of said monkey costume man).

Okay, after losing my soul in the commerciality of that damn village. We made it to the Buddha.

Pretty neat looking, huh? The crowds were massive in the town, but honestly, there was hardly anyone at the Buddha. It was really sad, really.

This was behind the Buddha. Why couldn't the Cable Car have like two exits and dropped me off somewhere in that mountain over there?

Please Mind The Gap - and the creepy monkey.

~Ken

This Posts Covet Item: Ebony chopsticks set at the Chopsticks Store, US$120.

Culture Shock Episode 1: Chicken and Prostitutes

I watched a chicken die.

Now, there are a lot of things I could write about today, especially since it was my birthday. But, I choose to write about said chicken.

I walked into the Smithtown Market today, and on the first floor is a butchering area where dozens of butchers have there individual stands selling various meats. I made the mistake of watching past a poultry stand when a woman pointed to a live chicken and ordered it.

I don't speak Cantonese, but I think she ordered it.

The butcher pulled the chicken out of the cage and well... yea.

I walked away at that point. Two minutes later, my roommate called me to see if I wanted to eat.

-Eight Hours Later-

I went with a large group of international students to Wan Chai, which is a neighborhood in central Hong Kong. We were going bar hopping and inbetween the bars were woman grabbing my hand, talking about favors or something.

I've seen prostitutes before, but never been actively sought out by them. I thought it was the grossest thing ever, but every time I ignored them, some guy behind me would walk off hand-in-hand with them.

That was my birthday, chicken and prostitutes.

~Ken

PS: I did spent the vast majority of my b-day on a beach today :) ... we went to Western HK, where our driver took us to a cove with an isolated beach. It was absolutely wonderful

Leaving on a Jet Plane, part 2

I present this challenge: Get from the United States, to a small six-story building in eastern Hong Kong, and do it without knowing a word of Cantonese.

This has been my challenge of the day. I learned very abruptly that none of the taxi drivers in Hong Kong speak any English. Now, I wasn't surprised, just that there really isn't a solution for this. I was told by people over there that I have to write out what I need, use a translation program and hope it does a good job.

So... I had to figure out how to write:

"Dear Taxi Driver, I need to get to Simon KY Lee Hall at The University of Hong Kong's main campus. Please take me there." Note: Simon KY Lee Hall is not necessarily 100 percent translatable.

I got this:

"亲爱的出租汽车司机, 我需要获取对西蒙KY 李・霍尔香港的主要校园大学。
请采取我那里."

That's Putonghua, or Mandarian (not commonly spoken in Southern China). I had to write that out. I've never written a Chinese character in my life - and I had to copy, character by character, that sentence onto some paper. It took me an hour.

According to BabelFish, that translates into: "Dear taxi driver, I need to gain to Simon KY Li Hall Hong Kong's main campus University. Please adopt my there."

Pray for me, and pray that my taxi driver can somewhat comprehend my Mandarian chicken scratch. I then realized today, "Ken, you're going to a place in the world that you don't speak a word of their language, and somehow live, survive, and work." It's a humbling thought.

Again, Pray.

~Hong Kong Ken